It's an acceptance now. I'm finally believing it... I live in Panama. For the past 7 months now that I have been here, it's always seemed like a passing, or a really long extended vacation. However now, (realizing I won't be home for the holidays), it's starting to hit... this IS my new home! Weird.. but it kind of feels good. I have a friends, I have an extended family, and hopefully soon I'll have a new pet! (I'm in this weird "I want a Chihuahua" phase).
I've been working on myself lately, trying to change my thinking, listen twice as much, and always find the "3rd alternative." Which before, I was really upset about not being home for the holidays, seeing all my old friends, hanging out with my dog, and having a Wal-Mart like 10 mins away. But then it changed. My thoughts changed from being down in the dumps and being negative... to WAKE UP! "Hey you, your on an island! Your in paradise and for your lunch break you hang out at your friend's bar over the water! You have an awesome apartment and you take a BOAT to work everyday." So I did. I woke up. And I also realized it's okay to miss home! And it's also okay to celebrate Christmas as a party holiday in the Caribbean town of Bastimentos! haha I can't wait.
My friend and yoga instructor here led a class based on this quote, "Control your thoughts. For your thoughts control your words, your words become your habits, you habits become your actions, and your actions become your character." This hit home. The experience I'm getting here in everything I'm learning is enough.
I know it's been awhile since I wrote last. And boy do I have some stories, but let's not go backwards. I only want to share the present. I am VERY busy these days but I will find time to share some of the stories of life on an island! Hope your doing well, wherever you are:)
Cheers,
Frances
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