Hello, Goodbye

So it's already Jan. 9th and I'm a little behind on this "New Years" post, but let's work with it.

Hello 2013!!! Wow. It's crazy, surreal, new, exciting, scary, and fresh. I felt like I had a different mind set this year. I was so incredibly exhausted from the holidays and regrouping after my trip, that my new years was spent mostly reflecting and being completely tired. Since my trip, I have been working my butt off in every part time job you could ever find: babysitting, hosting, bartista  freelancing designing/writing, coaching. But now more than ever I feel assured. I'm assured because even though my life is absolutely nuts, I'm spending time doing things I love. I'm also excited because 2013 is going to be my year.

But I really want to talk about this past year. 2012 was definitely one for the books. It all started with a hangover from an amazing night in Bocas del Toro with my sister filled with fireworks, fire, dancing, boat rides, and reggae techno. To think that almost half of 2012 was spent living on a tiny island in the Caribbean living it up in true island form is so surreal. Looking back, I can't even begin understand why I was unhappy or why I would ever leave. But truth is, I was... I missed so many things that my life there was lacking: movie theaters, bars, a variety of restaurants, shopping, TV, a career that I loved, and most importantly friends and family. Of course Panama had many of these things, but it just wasn't the same. Needless to say I followed my resolution and did what made me the most happy. I moved back.

Granted 90% of the people I tell my life story to, think I'm crazy. Why move away from paradise? Don't get me wrong, Bocas del Toro is the most amazing and magical place. The people I met in my adventures there will always have a piece of my heart. Gracias por todo lo que hicieron mis amigos. But I was missing so much more. I needed real relationships and family and a real job that didn't consume my life but that I loved doing.

So I moved back. I moved to Wilmington, NC which was the closet thing to the west coast that I could afford. I found a career job that came with salary and benefits. I found the most perfect condo on the water. I found really cool friends and was close enough for my family to come visit. The next 5 months were great. Until I realized I had no life outside of the resort industry. Working 60 hours a week at 6 days a week killed me. It also made me realize what I truly loved doing (I have some guests at the hotel to thank for that). So what did I do next? Well I did what I do best. I made a decision that had it's sacrifices but was too good to be true. I quite my job and traveled again. For a month I was blessed with the amazing opportunity to travel to my home country and do something I love doing: playing basketball and teaching. That trip was so incredible and amazing in so many ways. It brought understanding and even more perspective on the life I'm already living.

Wrapping up my year, I came back to Wilmington and had to deal with my consequences of quitting a job. It took me about two weeks but I did find two part time jobs and my freelance work has picked up! Needless to say being completely broke and trying to survive the holidays was super hard. But in the end it's been a crazy year and to think about all the things I accomplished, feels pretty good. Goodbye 2012!!!

Moving on, I feel really good about this year. I can start to imagine my life with things that fulfill me and make me happy. So cheers to the new adventures, the new beginnings, and exciting opportunities.

An Explanation of Half

Like I said... A story.

So I didn't write on my trip. I wanted to. Like all the time. I kept having so many strong emotions. Mostly emotions about understanding why I am the way I am. And then I would see the poverty, the illness, the struggle, and it made me ask so many questions. What I was realizing is that my knowledge and experiences in each moment didn't completely make since when they happened, but rather afterwards in reflection. So here I am, about to piece together an explanation of half, a half of me that might not have always made since before.  

One of my favorites. 

Even in the most darkest shadows and alley ways I would always see a bit of light. Not literally... it wasn't like a beam of light that parted between the clouds as if God were showing you a sign. But a light in many of the kids faces. There was some kind of joy deep inside. And not just the kids, but the people in general were some of the happiest I've ever met. As we went from town to town and did camps and clinics I started to understand why I am so "happy go jolly." Nothing could bring down or deepen the spirits of the kids we worked with. Even if we gave them a basketball drill that they couldn't do or a conditioning workout they might not liked, they found a way to laugh it off and have fun doing it! Off the court I see this in some of the "street kids." It didn't matter how bad their situation was, they still seemed to be the happiest person. 

Complete Joy! 

The other part to this, was their kindness and generosity. In my family I've always had tons of Tita's and Tito's (Aunts and Uncles). And we never really knew who were the real ones! Everyone it seemed, was either your cousin or aunt or uncle. Simply understanding it, it really doesn't matter! Family is family and kindness is kindness. They give and expect nothing back. It's this gratitude and generosity that I am constantly learning from and striving to have. 

Of course throughout the trip there were some frustrating parts. One of which was the food. Sad to say I couldn't eat any of it. Everything looked like the animal! I mean a chicken came out with it's head perfectly baked along with the rest of the body. Pork is served as a big fat pig and fish well, that wasn't so different. I just couldn't do it! About the only part I showed of being Pinoy was the fact that I do eat rice and I can eat with my hands. The end. Well there was one other frustrating part, the part that my dad always does. This is, ALWAYS having an answer for something. I mean seriously, even if they didn't know the answer, they made one up and gave it to you. I gave up asking the question "Where are we going?" and getting the response, "Over there" (even if we were 10 miles away). 

In the end, it was such a blessing and privileged to have taken this trip. It's not just a coincidence that I went, but a purpose. One day I plan to return and give back even more to the kids in need. They have my heart and if you only knew their story, they would have yours. 

Americans by tradition, Filipinos at heart.

The Early 20's

You hear people around my age talk about it all the time...What should I do with my life? We constantly ask ourselves this question over and over again. It doesn't matter if we have that perfect job, the great boyfriend or girlfriend, and the perfect little quaint apartment downtown. We can't deny that this question rolls into our minds on a weekly basis. So what do I do when in doubt? I ask Google. 

The search engine gave me some simple answers: 

1) Make mistakes. We're young, we're flexible and we're learning. So at our age we can afford to learn and try new things. Take that dance class you've been secretly wanting, move to the city you've always wanted to live in, and try that new hairstyle you've been thinking about. By doing these things, we'll figure it out quicker what we like and what we don't like. And along the way you might discover something new about yourself. 

2) Be financially smart. Don't get a credit card and start saving now. Spend wisely and only what your lifestyle allows. Remember that you could be just as happy in that apartment in uptown than you would in that apartment downtown. Especially if you have more spending money. 

3) Travel. I feel like everyone knows this one, but doesn't really follow it. See the world! Trust me you'll learn more traveling overseas than spending a year at a job you got just because of the money. 

I say all this just because I'm going for it. And I have to find a way to justify my decision or else I'm going to go crazy. Needless to say, I've quite my job. Throwing in the salary, benefits, and an awesome boss for a unique opportunity to travel again and an opportunity to find something that I love doing.  In a month I'm headed to the Philippines. I'll be working with a friend teaching basketball to a ton of people over there. I'm getting a chance to do so many things I love all in one opportunity. Travel, play basketball, and engage in a culture that's half of me. 

Do I know what I'm going to do when I get back? I have NO clue. But I have faith that I'll figure it out. And the point is, I have all the resources to do whatever I may like. So hello to the mistakes, hello to the Ramen Noodles, and hello to the traveling. 

Jumping into FALL

In my opinion, this is the best time of the year! The weather has significantly cooled down, there's that fresh and cool breeze when you walk outside in the morning, and the leaves are slowly starting to change colors. Mmmm And nothing says fall like Starbucks Pumpkin Latte's...... Dope.

So now that my favorite season is here, my blogging will definitely pick up. Get ready. Your about to get bombed with Halloween pictures and ideas, Renaissance festival madness, the gloriousness of fair grounds, fall in the high country, and my latest travel plans for the month of November (its about to get real).

For now I've got to share with you this hilarious article and photo gallery I found on the Huffington Post. Haha Please tell me you dress your animal up for Halloween... Because these people sure did and goodness they got creative! Click on the image below and zip over to my friends at Huffington for a great laugh!

Have a great day!

Courtesy of Huffingtonpost.com

Faith & Truth

White Sands National Park - New Mexico

Almost about two weeks ago, I attended this gathering here in Wilmington called "Overflow." Now by gathering I mean college worship program that this local church puts on every Thursday. But I don't want  to turn anyway any non-church goers, so in this case we'll refer to this as a gathering. Now to be clear I will state now and forever that I am a Christian. But for this writing piece, I want to talk about faith and truth in the most neutral since. We'll see how this goes.

We think the opposite of faith is doubt. Makes since right? ERR, Wrong. The opposite of faith is certainty.

This was the topic of the gathering. Boom. In plain thought, the truth hit me so hard. How true is that? Faith requires doubt. When we have faith in something, it's because we don't have the answer or can't see what lies ahead. It's this doubt that requires some of us to have faith.

Right now in my life I feel as lost as a nomad in the desert. I don't have any of the answers as to what I want to do, where I want to live, what kind of guy I want to end up with, or even what kind of hairstyle I want. But here's the thing... I have faith. And what I'm starting to realize is that I don't have to have all the answers right now. The answers will come as they may; and that my friends, is life! If I had all the answers right at this moment, what would the rest of my life be like? I have faith in that all things work out as they should. I have faith that if you truly believe in something, it can and will come true. I have faith that if you think positive, positive things will start to appear in your life. I have faith that even in the darkest moments, there is light. You may not know where your faith lies right now but I know from a Christian stand point my faith lies with the Lord. But that's me:)

So the truth is, find a lil faith in your life! And know that where there is faith, doubt is near-by. But don't be discouraged. Because soon, it'll all get better!

N.E.R.D

Phase number 10453: Nerd.



In the past 23 years of my life, I have been through many phases. Tomboy, country, basketball thug, skater girl, bohemian, prep, college athlete, rocker chick, alternative hipster, island hippie, back to a brief phase of hipster moments, and finally... nerdtastic.

It might have started to come out senior year of college on Halloween when I dressed up as Princess Leia. Fully draped in a white velvet robe with braided buns to match. To be honest, I think I have always been somewhat of a nerd. But today it's different. I'm a glerd... a weird combination between a gleek and a nerd. It's this collision of being into comic book movies and TV musicals. But not only that, I'm like never wanting to go out anymore. And this once social butterfly... is now the most awkward thing at the bar. Haha It's weird. And I officially feel like dorkness come alive when it's 11am and I'm on YouTube while at the same time thinking..... Shouldn't I be pre-gaming somewhere? And then I discover the 100th cover of "Call Me Maybe" finding it so unique and creatively well done. Yet again. 

I can't help to think though...

Is what I'm calling my nerdness really maturity in disguise? I'm not this raging college student anymore. I find myself actually wanting and enjoying reading books, articles and scripts. I thoroughly enjoy reading the news and getting involved in politics. And I drink more coffee than I do alcohol.

But here I am.... actually quite happy.

So What's next? Well for starters, I'm going to continue to make videos, cover songs on my ukulele and piano, work on my never ending website, start a script, and travel.

PS. Can someone say Comic Con?! Let's hope this doesn't get re-located next year. (San Diego I love you). After seeing comic con take over my twitter account, I can't help but to become mildly obsessed with the whole thing. All the movie premiers, TV spoilers, and quite frankly, all the amazing (and not so amazing) costumes. Maybe I'll finally fit in as Princess Leia.

Around The Corner

So I'm there! I found it. Right around the corner at my next job. In my last post you found out that I have officially moved back to the United States. Well, so far so good... I have a great job! Oh and a baller apartment. Yep, you would think I have it together. Haha Well here's a secrete, I hardly ever have it together.

I thought I had everything figured out when I was in Panama. I was ready to move back, find a cute apartment that I could pinterest out, find my group of friends to share a life with, find a guy who has it together, and make a real salary. Well so far so good (minus the guy part, I'm pretty sure guys my age who have it together are pretty non-existent- or I find something wrong with them- my issues, I know). However after obtaining the majority of these things I envisioned, why am I still wanting new things?? Why am I changing  my mind in only the 3rd month I've been back!? I have a salary job, an amazing apartment on the waterway, and a town full of things I love. Yet I find myself tonight (and every night) looking up the top art schools, dreaming about living in LA or New York, becoming a waitress again so I can have time to travel- UHgan, taking off for 6 months to travel Europe, and picturing myself as Anne Curry's successor on the Today Show. Why is what I have never good enough? 

I'd like to think that the answer to this is having patience. And I'd also like to think that this is something I have and is one of my strong points... Wait for it.... it's not. DEFINITELY not. I want it all, I want to do it all, I want to be it all... And before I'm 30. (7 years left). But what was I just talking about? Oh yeah, patience. Hah I'm working on that. But is that the real answer to the question? The answer is probably something deeper than just patience. But just like all who really  know me, I'm done right here. Not a fan of opening up more. So I'll leave this as an open ended question.

That's all I got for tonight. I really want to write a funny article about hipsters and my whole outlook on this new/old phenomenon. Keep a lookout for my next post!







<--- Hipster Frances